So we've been in West Virginia for the past week or so and it is SO great to be home. I love being able to spend time with my parents, family, and friends. I've really been busy getting everything ready for my mom's birthday party which is Friday. (Pictures will come) I've been working on about 50 Pinterest ideas :) The time we spend here always seems like it flies by...we'll be leaving in about a week. West Virginia is my most favorite place on Earth.
I always thought I'd move back here and start my family close to my parents. As the years go by it looks more and more less likely. I've had almost every emotion about this...sadness, anger, and I think finally, acceptance. As I'm getting older I realize that your home is where your heart is...for real. Part of my heart will always be here, but most of my heart will always be wherever my husband is and wherever we decide to settle down and start our own family. Joe actually was offered a job in West Virginia just this past week...he declined it after much discussion, research, and consideration. We decided that it just wasn't what we wanted- the job was 4 1/2 hours away from my hometown and the town itself was not a place I would like to live. Not to mention we would be taking a huge pay cut. It was hard for me to come to terms with this because living and working in WV has been my dream for the past 5 years...and when it was possible it just didn't seem right. I think we both realized that we should be grateful for the job and living situation we have now in CT. As I explained it to my husband, it's not that I don't like Connecticut or my job or where we live- I actually really love all of those things...but I just hate how far away we are from family. It didn't make sense to take a job in WV in a town that we would probably hate and struggle to pay our bills just to be 4 1/2 hours away from my family and 5 hours away from his.
When I think about living long-term in Connecticut the thing that scares me most is raising children in a place where we would have no support...I couldn't call my mom to pick him/her up from school if there was an emergency, it would be impossible to have everyone over for a birthday party, and I dread the thought of holidays. I know people do this everyday...raise children without any extended family support...and some even raise children alone- those people are awesome. I just get really bummed out when I think about not having those people around to help/watch/enjoy the process. I already feel as if I miss out on things like graduations, girls weekends with my friends, and countless other events because it just isn't feasible for me to get there. Joe says we will just have to make more of an effort to make it to those things because they are important and vital to our happiness...but often it's easier to say than actually do when faced with the demands of work, money, time, etc.
My new thought process focuses on this...
Maybe Connecticut is where we are meant to be...maybe God has great plans for us there. I'm finally getting really excited to see what those plans may be ;) By constantly planning on moving to WV I never really let myself embrace Connecticut as much as I could have...I didn't want to get too settled or comfortable because I always thought I'd leave. It's going to be a big process trying to switch my brain to think in a different way, but I know I have to in order to live a happy and fulfilled life. I don't do anything half-way and I definitely don't want to live my life that way...who knows what the future may hold, but I want to enjoy my present and make the most out of every day.
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